How do we master Self-Control?

Sometimes people just don’t know how to differentiate right and wrong. But yet even when most people are able to differentiate, they are unable to restrain themselves from whatever that is wrong. This gives way to the thinking that 'Perfect Man' does not exists; the thinking that there is always a middle ground between the good and bad; the thinking that things are neither black nor white but 'shades of gray'. 

Before talking about Self-control, it is necessary to discuss about 'Pleasure'. Pleasure, joy and happiness are emotions that are important to achieve a sense of ‘life’; a sense of self-esteem; a feeling that life is worth living. Pleasure/happiness is attained from Productive work, Human Relationship, Sex, Recreation and Art. Except for Productive work none of the other activities necessarily provide long term happiness. A bully of a friend, smoking, irrational lust though are perfectly capable of providing pleasure, yet are counter-intuitive to the idea of long term happiness. In contrast a knowledgeable friend, a good book, swimming and Romantic Love with an Ideal Partner can make life enriching. 

But then how does one escape from the clutches of irrational pleasures?

1. Philosophy - Man is inescapable of philosophy. Every action a man chooses has philosophical roots. It's his choice to identify it or not. It’s irrelevant of the fact that man studies philosophy or not.  Man can choose to act based on feelings, emotions, faith, or whims (Subjectivism) or based on ‘Reason’ towards a specific purpose and specific objective (Objectivism). Philosophy is a guide to Man's Life. Therefore it’s essential to study, identify and choose a perfect philosophy that clearly differentiates black and white, good from bad, rational from irrational, the moral from the immoral based on a Standard; that differentiates what should be restrained and ignored from that which should be cultivated.
2. Judgment – Values are anything that one wants to ‘gain’ or ‘keep’. Emotions by itself are not bad or good. Emotions are lighting fast calculators of a moment or situation. Emotions are the automatic results of what man holds as a ‘value’. Observe that when two people who are asked to watch pornography, each can exhibit different emotions. One can lustfully enjoy it yet the other can feel disgusted. Different emotions (joy, disgust) are exhibited due to the fact that one holds pornography as a 'value', while the other does not. The latter is aware of its crude vulgarity and its objectification of women. The former is either not or is not 'one with himself'. That’s why judgment of value is important. Is smoking or over-indulgent eating and drinking healthy? Is company of a bully to be valued and sustained?  Is gambling good? Is spending too much time on the internet rational? Think and judge before holding anything as value. Do not hold or do anything arbitrarily or just because other people do. Think and Judge.
3. Taming the Animal - We've evolved from animals. There is a little bit of animal still left in us. The rational part of our brain is pretty new compared to pleasure driven emotional part. Rational and structured thoughts are often an effort and tires us quickly compared to emotional and arbitrary thoughts, which can run all day long. When asked not to think about elephant, the word elephant itself triggers the elephant imagery. An act of controlling thought or monitoring absence of a thought itself induces the thought. It then becomes necessary neither to think nor to monitor that which should be controlled. 'Distraction' is perhaps the best way to tame this animal. For example, when you think of smoking try to end up eating a chocolate or having tea instead.  
• Marshmallow Experiment conducted on kids has shown that kids who were able to successfully distract themselves from the immediate pleasure of the moment had a greater rewarding life in the future. 
4. Purpose - Choose a purpose. A productive work. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life”. But even If you don't find a job that you love, it is necessary that you do get a work, in order to live self-dependently and survive. Grow pride. Get an ego. Love yourself. A passionately purpose driven man has hardly time to indulge in irrational desires. 

P.S. 

The post is mostly influenced from the works of Ayn Rand, especially from the essays found in the book "The Virtue of Selfishness".